Considering Collaborative Divorce – 5 Main Questions Asked and Answered


Collaborative divorce is a way to carry out the divorce in a peaceful way without spending time in court.

Numerous studies have proved that court processes are not the most appropriate way to solve problems in a marriage.

The most recognizable positive features of collaborative divorce are lower cost, smaller duration, it is less adversarial and is believed to allocate more attention to children’s concerns.

This is especially suitable for modern couples, who certainly do not need more stress in their lives.

Are Features of Collaborative Divorce Suitable For Me? 

There would be no court. Collaborative divorce means that each party gets its own attorney and consults with them.

So you will discuss your case with your attorney in person and have several sessions where your spouse and his or her lawyer would be present as well.

However, courtless divorce has a huge number of benefits. Particularly, this approach motivates sides to not win one another but to reach a consensus that is profitable to both sides and none of them remains at a disadvantage.

Secondly, this kind of operation requires special practice and knowledge of the attorney. Thus, you will have to find a specialist that has experience in holding collaborative divorce.

Thirdly, the efforts of both sides, clients and attorneys, are directed at finding the best solution and not building the case to win at the court.

There might be present other specialists as well. For example, accounters, child psychologists, tax specialists, business evaluators, real estate appraisers, financial planners and so on.

Although, collaborative divorce is considered cheaper than the traditional one, be ready to spend some extra cash on other specialists’ services. There is usually a joint expert, so you do not need to hire one separately. 

By the way, there is a small peculiarity about carrying out collaborative divorce in Colorado. There is an Ethic Opinion, which means that the 4-way agreement is prohibited. This is, however, legal in any other state of the USA.

Is It Really What I Need?

Naturally, everything depends on the couple, their willingness and openness to discuss and negotiate, find a compromise.

Obviously, a serious misunderstanding between you can leave you from that opportunity. Hence, if there is domestic violence or you have polar opinions or sophisticated situations with assets, then it would be more effective to refer to a contested divorce. 

You can also consider the online do it yourself divorce kit. Maybe, there is even no need to hire the attorneys.

Completing divorce online is even easier. You get the same divorce court forms, you can also try for DIY divorce forms for divorce – this is it.

How Would I Benefit From Collaborative Divorce?

If you are ready to not untie a war and use diplomatic methods to solve your issue then at the end of the day you would definitely get these advantages:

  • Your relationships with the other spouse would be cordial, respectful and supportive and by no means aggressive. 
  • You will be able to co-parent in a more effective manner.
  • You and your spouse will get as much as they want and need. Each party’s preferences would be taken into account. 
  • Your children would not have an emotional burden and pain. You would be able to demonstrate to them that even when your blood is rushing like crazy and the only thing you want to do is use bad language against the other person and beat them up, you need to pause, breathe, plan and reach an agreement. 

How Do I Find the Right Attorney For Collaborative Divorce? 

The attorney can be cooperative but not quite collaborative. The right attorney must agree to sign the Collaborative Divorce Agreement. 

Ask him or her a question about whether they had any practice in this area. Many years of litigation practice can not substitute real experience in the area of mediation and collaboration.

So even if we’re lucky enough to find a perfect lawyer, who does not have a qualification in working with couples as you but still ensures that he would be able to handle the situation easily, turn his offer down. 

And finally, trust your instincts. Trust your first impression. Did he or she seem to carry about your problem at all? Did he allocate time to listen to you? Did he sound professional?

Did he admit his inability to try the case? Once you consult him for the first time, you would most probably understand whether he suits you or not.

Maybe, I Should Choose Mediation? 

The most noticeable difference between collaborative divorce and mediation is the number of people you work with. In the case of mediation, you have yourself, your other spouse and the mediator.

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They are more suitable if your case is less complicated and you just need to figure some things out. However, if you have some deeper questions to solve, then attorneys can offer more creative solutions and dedicate more time to your case.